So how cold is it?

• It's so cold, even the Good Humour Man is in a bad mood.
• It's so cold, chicken wings are being sold only in hot and suicide.
• It's so cold, Paris Hilton is actually wearing clothes.
• It's so cold, fleece is once again fashionable.
• It's so cold that I can feel icicles forming beneath my eyelids
• It's so cold that I put the meat in the freezer to defrost.
• It's so cold that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets for once.
• It's so cold that even members of congress couldn't get into a heated argument.
• It's so cold that cigarette smokers were passing out because they didn't know that
  they were through exhaling.
• Columbia Sportswear Womens 3-in-1 Bugaboo Interchange Parka - Black
• It's so cold that instead of the finger, New Yorkers are giving each other the mitten.
• It's so cold that cabbies are wearing flannel turbans.
• Jay Leno: "It was so cold, I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket."
• It's so cold that I actually feel like listening to Rush Limbaugh. That's how desperate I am for some hot air.
• It's so cold, even Ted Kennedy won't go outside without pants.
• It's so cold that Times Square strip clubs are advertising "Live Heavily-Dressed Girls!"
• It's so cold that people are buying hot roasted chestnuts to put in their pants.
• It's so cold, Richard Simmons was seen putting on a pair of long pants.
• It's so cold, the only essential employee in Chicago is one with a snow shovel.