Friday, June 08, 2012

Shorts: Damn Funny Jokes

  • Life is like a pen¡s: simple, carefree, soft, meek and modest. It's women that make it hard!
  • What happened when Bluebeard the Pirate fell into the Red Sea? He got marooned!
  • When does 1 + 1 = 3? When you don't use a condom!
  • If a threesome is sex with three people, and a twosome is sex with two people, I guess you can just call me "handsome."
  • What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? "Hump-me, Dump-me!"
  • Did you hear about the guy who spent the night in a gay bar? He woke up with a queer taste in his mouth!
  • What's a practical nurse? One who marries a wealthy, terminally ill patient.
  • What's worse than an out-of-tune piano? An organ that goes flat in the middle of a piece!
  • Whenever I'm bored, I like to text a random number, saying, "I hid the body. Now what?"