Friday, August 18, 2006

Billy Connolly's Chain Letter

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for
not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to
me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, a poor six year old girl in Kentucky with
a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough
money to have it removed before her redneck parents
sell her to a traveling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going
to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his"
email, $1000?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make
a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into
the next day!

What a bunch of bullsh*t.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into
my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not
continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter
in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim
stowaways on the Endeavor.

F*ck 'em.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me
something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this
to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched
excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

I don't f*cking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're
actually contributing to by sending out these forwards.
Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's
threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the
rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about
a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to
the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only
salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you
forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise,
tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous
and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

P.S: Send me 15 bucks and then f*ck off.