Friday, May 19, 2006

My Most Favorate Bumper Stickers

4 out of 5 voices in my head say Go For It!
A hundred thousand sperm and you were the fastest?
A real gentleman wouldn't stare at my stickers.
Answer my prayer -- steal this car.
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Back Off! I'm a Postal Worker
Back off! I'm not that kind of car.
Beat rush hour, leave work at noon
Bipartisanship: I'll hug your elephant if you kiss my ass
CAUTION! - Driver legally blonde!
CAUTION! I can go from 0 to BITCH in 2.5 seconds
Clear the road I'm SIXTEEN
Come The Rapture Can I Have Your Car?
Cover me! I'm changing lanes.
Daddy Farted, and we Can't get out!!
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Don't assume I'm not into cheap meaningless sex
Don't follow me. I'm lost too.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Don't worry…it's only kinky the first time.
Driver carries no cash. He's married.
Forget About World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
FREE TIBET! (with the purchase of a 44 oz. drink).
Get off my ass before I start to like it!
God is Coming and is she PISSED
God was my co-pilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him
Heavily medicated for your safety.
Hello, officer. Put it on my tab.
Help! I Farted and can't roll down my windows!
Horn Broken Watch for Finger
I'm a nice guy. My car is evil.
I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to work.
I'm only driving this way to piss you off.
I'm Out of Estrogen And I Have a Gun
I'm looking for the right pedestrian to run over.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
I'm Not Losing Hair I'm Getting Head
I'm not playing with myself, I'm just adjusting my jewellery.
I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
I am not a bum. My wife works!
I brake suddenly for tailgaters
I don't care, I don't have to.
I gave up drinking, smoking and sex - Worst 15 minutes of my life
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
I have a drink problem - I can't afford it.
I have a nice body. It's in my trunk.
I have good Brakes, Do you have GOOD Insurance?
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
I is a college student.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
I love cats they taste like chicken
I may be a Cruel and Heartless Bitch But I'm damn good at it
I may be slow but I'm ahead of you!
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I respect your opinion. Just don't want to hear it!
I still have the body of an 18 year old but it's in my trunk and it's starting to smell
I Still Miss My "Ex" But My Aim Is Improving
I suffer from c.r.s. (can't remember shit)
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
I want to be just like Barbie That BITCH Has Everything!
I Wasn't Born A Bitch Men Like You Make Me That Way
If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!
If I wanted to hear from an asshole I'd fart
If this car is being driven courteously it's been stolen.
If we call it tourist season why can't we shoot them?
If You Are Born Again Do You Have Two Belly Buttons ?
If you are not a hemorrhoid then get off my ass!
If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
If you don't like my attitude, stop looking at my Stickers!
Invest in America. Buy a Congressman!
Invest in America. Buy a Congressman - Oh wait! You are already doing that!
It's time to pull over and change the air in your head!
It sucks to be a man in a lesbians body.
Jesus is coming look busy.
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control!
Lord give me patience... But Hurry!
Make It Idiot Proof and Someone Will Make a Better Idiot
Men are Idiots and I married their King
My daughter turned down your honor student!
My Goddess Gave Birth To Your God
My other bumper sticker is funny.
My other car is a broom
My other car is also a piece of junk
Of All The Things I've Lost I Miss My Mind The Most
Out of my mind (back in 5 minutes)
Pissing off the whole planet one person at a time
Politicians & Diapers need to be changed... often for the same reason
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself
Sex is my religion.. let us pray!
So Many Cats, So Few Recipes
So many pedestrians. So little time!
Somewhere in Texas there's a village missing an idiot
Sorry if I look interested, I'm not!
Think this looks bad? You should see the front.
This Is Not An Abandoned Vehicle
Why Are You Staring At My Bumper!? You Pervert!
Work harder!! Millions on welfare are depending on you.
Yes, This Is My Truck No, I Won't Help You Move
Your child may be an honors student, but You're still an idiot.