Saturday, June 09, 2012

Jokes for Twitter - Relationships

  • Remember: no matter how good a #woman looks, some guy somewhere is sick and tired of putting up with her crap! #humor
  • Will the father be present during the birth? asked the obstetrician Nah replied the mother-to-be He and my #husband don't get along!
  • A #man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs. A #woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. #humor
  • How about a goodnight #kiss? he asked She rebuffed, I don't do that on the first date! He replied How about on your last date? #jokes
  • What do you get when you cross a hit of acid with a birth-control pill? A trip without the kids. #jokes
  • I hope I'm the last guy on earth -- I wanna see if all those women were lying to me. RT! #jokes #humor
  • What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. #jokes #humor
  • What does a cyclone and a #woman have in common? They both start out hot, wet & wild and then take UR House & Car. #humor
  • Nothing can be more expensive than a women who's free for the evening!! RT! #jokes #humor #lmfao
  • My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. #jokes #humor #lmfao
  • #Girls are like phones. They love to be held & talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! #quotes #humor
  • A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her that her mouth is beautiful when her lips are closed. #quotes #humor
  • I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. #quotes #humor
  • When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.  #quotes #humor