Tuesday, June 06, 2006

You Might Be Iranian If ...

you have a hookah as a centerpiece in your living room

your mother constantly interferes in your relationships

you have 2 or more tattoos that say “Allah”

you hijack a plane with your relatives on board

you are a car salesman and at the same time a singer

you've been detained on visa violations at least 12 times

you actually like carbonated yogurt drinks

you talk behind your wife's back with your mother

LA, "Irangeles," has become your second homeland

you never wear your wedding ring

the registrar at the Immigration and Naturalization Service knows you by name

you rewind the movie ‘Clueless’ to show your friends the Persian Mafia part

you pronounce "Sure", "SHOOR"

You've been arrested for downloading Western or Iranian music recorded in America

your favorite drink is Absolut with Shmirnof

you refer to your landlord as the head of the village

you are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes.

you pronounce "gas station", "gas esstation"

you have an enlarged poster of Tupac Shakur stapeled to your bedroom cealing

you can prove that you are Italian.

you awake from a bad dream shouting, “Chi boodim . . . chi shodim!” - - “What we were . . . what we became.”

your parents tell of how they partied with Googoosh when they were groupies back in Iran

you've recorded all the episodes of “Baywatch” and “Beverly Hills 90210”

your wife divorces you, but still goes shopping with your sister.

on your entry door hangs separate iron knockers for men and women

you carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phones but no one ever calls you.

you still get up at five in the morning to go buy bread

you don't own a house and have no job, but still can afford a BMW

you have to shave more than once a day

before you were born, your parents made plans for you to become a doctor or a computer programmer

you use the phrase "Ghorbooneh Shoma" or "Ghorbonat" or "Ghorboonet" at least 30 times a day

you get excited when a cashier is Persian

you're still wondering when Bush is going to bomb Iran