you have a hookah as a centerpiece in your living room
your mother constantly interferes in your relationships
you have 2 or more tattoos that say “Allah”
you hijack a plane with your relatives on board
you are a car salesman and at the same time a singer
you've been detained on visa violations at least 12 times
you actually like carbonated yogurt drinks
you talk behind your wife's back with your mother
LA, "Irangeles," has become your second homeland
you never wear your wedding ring
the registrar at the Immigration and Naturalization Service knows you by name
you rewind the movie ‘Clueless’ to show your friends the Persian Mafia part
you pronounce "Sure", "SHOOR"
You've been arrested for downloading Western or Iranian music recorded in America
your favorite drink is Absolut with Shmirnof
you refer to your landlord as the head of the village
you are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes.
you pronounce "gas station", "gas esstation"
you have an enlarged poster of Tupac Shakur stapeled to your bedroom cealing
you can prove that you are Italian.
you awake from a bad dream shouting, “Chi boodim . . . chi shodim!” - - “What we were . . . what we became.”
your parents tell of how they partied with Googoosh when they were groupies back in Iran
you've recorded all the episodes of “Baywatch” and “Beverly Hills 90210”
your wife divorces you, but still goes shopping with your sister.
on your entry door hangs separate iron knockers for men and women
you carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phones but no one ever calls you.
you still get up at five in the morning to go buy bread
you don't own a house and have no job, but still can afford a BMW
you have to shave more than once a day
before you were born, your parents made plans for you to become a doctor or a computer programmer
you use the phrase "Ghorbooneh Shoma" or "Ghorbonat" or "Ghorboonet" at least 30 times a day
you get excited when a cashier is Persian
you're still wondering when Bush is going to bomb Iran
